Chap goes into a bar and orders a vodka and Coke.
The barman serves him.
The man drinks it and orders another.
This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down.
The barman asks,
“Is there anything the matter, sir?”
The chap replies,
“I had an enormous argument with the wife. She said she won’t speak to me for a month.”
The barman looks sympathetic.
“That sounds rough.”
The chap nods.
“It is.”
He takes another sip.
Then he smiles.
“But I have four days left.”
The barman stares at him.
“Four days left until what?”
The chap grins.
“Until the month is over.”
The barman laughs.
“So you’re counting the days until she speaks to you again?”
The chap shakes his head.
“No.”
He raises his glass.
“I have four days of peace left.”
The barman bursts out laughing.
“Then why are you drinking?”
The chap looks at his glass and says,
“I’m practicing for when she starts talking again.”
The barman nods.
“Fair enough.”
The chap orders another vodka and Coke.
The barman pours it.
Then he asks,
“Does she always stay angry that long?”
The chap sighs.
“She once went silent for three days.”
“That bad?”
“No.”
“What happened?”
“She forgot why she was angry.”
The barman laughs.
“So what happened then?”
The chap smiles.
“She remembered.”
The barman shakes his head.
“Marriage, eh?”
The chap raises his glass.
“To the only relationship where you can win an argument…”
He pauses.
“…and still lose.”
They both laugh.
Then the chap looks at the clock.
“Actually, make that two more.”
The barman asks,
“Two more what?”
“Vodkas.”
“Why?”
The chap sighs.
“She just texted me.”
“What did she say?”
He looks at his phone.
“‘We need to talk.’”
The barman slowly reaches for the bottle.
“Make that three.”
